Reflections

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  1. k'Care-Reena

    HOW DO I SHOW MY RESPECT FOR OTHERS? HOW IS IT A MUTUALLY FULFILLING GIFT?

    I show my respect for others by listening and not judging, doing so is a mutually fulfilling gift because what we give others we get in return. I also accept others which allows me to accept myself.

    3 years ago
  2. M
    Mike

    Increasingly, by trying to listen to everything others have to say instead of interrupting with the first responses that occur to me. This practice seems to be inviting an empathy I have long lacked.

    3 years ago
  3. O.Christina

    Through listening carefully and deeply, trying to understand my fellow people; through being present for others and taking care of the ones in need; through meeting others with loving kindness and gratitude. Usually people feel the good intention and reply in kind.

    3 years ago
  4. Don Jones

    These days, it is guided by quiet, gentleness and mindfulness. The ripples are virtually non-existent now – just like a cloud drifting by.

    3 years ago
  5. KC

    As I practice self-respect, rooting in, clarifying and returning to my own values (daily!), I am able to show respect for others and the Earth. I am inspired by a favourite quote from Georgia O’keefe ‘It takes a kind of a nerve, and a lot of hard, hard work!’

    Showing up and being fully present without judgement helps too. 🌞🐌🌱

    3 years ago
  6. Hot Sauce

    I show my respect for others by thinking about their needs and wants before I act. So, for instance, in a conflict, before I lose my temper or say something I’ll regret, I try to reflect, “If I was the other person, how would I want me to react?” This is a mutually fulfilling gift because, when I show respect for others, they are more likely to respect me as well.

    3 years ago
    1. devy

      Love this..! Reminds me to “bite my tongue” and walk away if necessary..

      3 years ago
  7. Cathie

    Respect is freely given, yet trust is earned: that is how it was explained to me.
    To show respect is to acknowledge a person’s existence by greeting them, listening without always jumping in, giving up seats to elderly or folks who need them more than you, offering to help when you see the need.
    You respect their humanity – not your perception of them.
    Respect for a persons humanness is mutually fulfilling because when someone demonstrates their respect for me, it makes me feel alive.

    3 years ago
    1. KC

      ‘Respect is freely given, yet trust is earned’. Thank you Cathie. That is such a helpful and healthy distinction!

      3 years ago
  8. Holly in Ohio

    Today I am deeply thankful to my mother, who taught me how to respect all people with little things she said to me…

    When we were living in Oaxaca, where the indigenous peoples were often disrespected, she taught me to never think of them as unclean. She said, “Even though their floors are of dirt, you see they sweep them twice a day.”

    She taught me to see people of any illness with respect and compassion, “Never be ashamed of any natural thing about the body,” was one of the things she said.

    She would talk to everybody, no matter how old and infirmed, no matter how uneducated and poor, and not with condescension but with true interest and equality.

    Thank you, mom.

    You have given me the gift of many friends and a wholeness to humanity.

    3 years ago
    1. Mica

      Wow, Holly – how wonderful!

      3 years ago
  9. pkr

    How do I show respect to others, by treating them as I want to be treated. Respect for myself in turn means respect for others. 🙏❤️

    3 years ago
  10. Elaine

    We are in a pandemic.. Respect for others involves listening to our scientists and public health officials and following the protocols they mandate or recommend.
    We are in a climate emergency. Respect for “others” – the whole of creation – means reducing consumption, stopping extraction, turning our priorities instead toward regeneration. There’s a chance we can save Mother Earth – what a gift that would be.

    3 years ago
    1. Holly in Ohio

      Thank you, Elaine, for reminding me that our actions also speak our respect for others and for our earth.

      3 years ago
    2. Linda

      Well said, Elaine.

      3 years ago
      1. Elaine

        Thank you Linda 😊

        3 years ago
  11. tipanee

    By being present….

    3 years ago
    1. Palm

      So true…

      3 years ago
  12. Kevin

    I can only hope that the way in which I honor and value the mutual existence of other people around me will be afforded to me as well by folks unknown to me throughout my day.

    That said, however, I don’t treat or interact with other people in a particular way because I am expecting a kind of payback, or quid pro quo, if you will, that in some way benefits me in the end. How I see, hear, and experience my sisters and brothers, whether around the corner or around the globe simply is what it is. It somehow completes my own humanity in a way that is both unique and mysterious that is not easily expressed with words.

    3 years ago
  13. Nelson

    By paying attention. Nowadays, it’s can be difficult to have a conversation – in person, on the phone, or through Zoom – with someone who isn’t distracted by their phones. Or multitasking. Or thinking of something and not being present. I include myself in this as I get distracted too. So I make an active effort to be present. Make eye contact. Genuinely listen. Not have my camera off during a video conference call so they could see they’re actually talking to a person, not to a blank screen. It’s how I would like to be treated if I’m sharing my thoughts. The energy is totally different when both people are present and engaged. We both feel heard, valued, seen, and understood.

    3 years ago
  14. Carol

    The following quote came to mind:”The single biggest thing I learned was from an indigenous elder of Cherokee descent, Stan Rushworth, who reminded me of the difference between a Western settlers mindset of “I have rights” and an indigenous mindset of “I have obligations.” Instead of thinking that I am born with rights, I choose to think that I am born with obligations to serve past, present and future generations, and the planet herself.” It contains a perspective that respects all of creation. If we could embrace such a mindset, it would heal the world.

    3 years ago
    1. Holly in Ohio

      That is beautiful. 🌺

      3 years ago
    2. sparrow

      Well said,
      dear Carol,
      from Stan Rushworth . . .
      it is a mindshift that I both welcome & embrace
      with love…
      sparrow ♥

      3 years ago
    3. Mica

      Wonderful, Carol – I’ve put that quote in my gratefulness doc

      3 years ago
  15. sunnypatti48317

    I show respect for others by treating them the way I want to be treated myself. That means showing up, being present, lending an ear, offering a hug, holding the door, letting someone into traffic or a grocery line, smiling at others. We get what we give, so that’s how this is a mutually fulfilling gift.

    3 years ago
  16. Mary Pat

    Be giving others my full attention when they are speaking. By meeting that person where they are in life. By allowing them to be who they are at this time in their life, and that allows me to be who I am at this time in my life.

    3 years ago
  17. Katrina

    By acknowledging others: there presence in the world; their humanity; their stories, if that is appropriate at the time; their need; their gifts. I’m not sure I need it to be mutually fulling, except to know that respect for others is a character quality and value that I honor in myself.

    3 years ago
  18. SK

    By being a “companion” and not necessarily a friend; to listen and to really hear and not to believe that I have to say anything in return; to be present with them in their moment.

    3 years ago
  19. Amber

    By seeing how they freely be who they are and choose to live their lives without judgment or critic. It has been mutual because others not only do that for me but they constantly show and tell me how they value my presence and the sunshine I bring.

    3 years ago
  20. devy

    By listening to others. if others are argumentative, listen to what they say, make my point but if they continue on , learn to be quiet and walk away. Some people are engrained with their thoughts that arguing will not change them, and only create turmoil. Show respect not just for others but more to me and what I stand for in my core beliefs. Perhaps once I am gone, the person will later ponder on what was said and see things in a different perspective.

    3 years ago
    1. Linda

      “Some people are engrained with their thoughts that arguing will not change them, and only create turmoil.” This is so true, Devy, especially in our current politically charged culture. I have learned that the hard way…

      3 years ago
    2. Amber

      I literally just spoke to my daughter about this yesterday. She cut someone off and told them she didn’t like them anymore. The “messy” person as my daughter described replied “I didn’t do nothing to you”. I tried explaining to her that sometimes those who don’t conduct themselves in an inconsiderate manner may not always be aware just how they may run others wrong. I challenged her to specifically share a few things if she was willing. I’m proud & respect her decision to be distant nonetheless.

      3 years ago
      1. Mica

        Warm wishes to you and your daughter, Amber!

        3 years ago
  21. Dusty Su

    Through meeting others, where they are at. Working with what they present as they present it. Of course, not compromising my own convictions if need be, but most of the time, if you work with what they present as is, things work out well. Which is its own reward.

    3 years ago
  22. EJP

    By being silent and listen…..listen and learn.

    3 years ago
  23. G
    Gregoire

    I show my respect for others by patiently tolerating the daily misgivings and aggressions that my line of work provokes in people. If I come upon them in a spirit of love then my natural response is forgiveness and the gift for me is a sense of knowing that I have done my work to be an agent of God and his love.

    3 years ago
    1. Amber

      Love this

      3 years ago
  24. Michele

    I show my respect for others by active listening, opening doors for others, saying please and thank you, smiling. Simple kindness. It’s fulfilling when respect is earned. Being disrespected is a whole other topic.

    3 years ago
  25. Howie Geib

    Oh if but this were true. For bestowing respect in a perfect world would indeed elicit reciprocal responses from others. And yet…I suppose the respect I give when given with NO expectation of any response is a true gift without obligation and therefore the more valuable. Lets the other person of the hook. It is a generous act. So the How of it is simple enough: Acknowledgment of their presence, their very existence. Not ignoring them. Looking them in the eye. It is even when frail and fleeting a basis of relationship. It is a form of blessing but not from me to them but from them to me.

    3 years ago
    1. sparrow

      Funny,
      dear Howie,
      I have Pema Chodron’s ‘Compassion Cards’,
      and today I drew ‘Don’t act with a twist.’
      “Acting with a twist means having an ulterior motive of benefiting yourself.”
      It reminds me
      to not expect,
      but to act from a pure & clear space.
      Your response speaks to me
      with love…

      3 years ago
      1. Holly in Ohio

        And both of your responses speak to me.
        Those sound like interesting cards, Sparrow, I will look them up.

        There have been times, Howie, when, like for you, it was clear that no matter what I did, how I behaved towards another, that I would not receive respect from them.. I remember one painful memory in particular, when a long time close friend, caught suddenly in her own jealousy and vindictiveness, secretly began widely slandering me and misleading people about my life. It had far ranging consequences, ultimately causing me to lose my business and income, some friendships, and it hurt my husband and children by creating much stress (this happened during their immigration process and the loss of income meant I could no longer be their sponsor!). Other friends who could see through her deception immediately, could not understand why I didn’t start retaliating in kind, or at least scream the truth wide and cause turmoil, and for me the answer was quite simple. I would not let her change who I am. It would not have been dignified, and I would not change what my values are just for me to “win.” It wasn’t being noble, it was just understanding that if I started being disrespectful to her and turned it into a gutter fight, there would be a personal cost in my relationship with myself. That is the part that I thought you might relate to, Howie. It is not that I wasn’t deeply hurt and angry about the unfairness of it. I kept hanging on, trying to make it work on a professional level, but she did some shocking things to undermine it. After months she came to regret what she did though she did not wholely own up to it. She tried to make up, but I could not trust her again. I still think of this sad episode on occasion with some hurt left and it is 12 years in the past. Still trying to let it go. But lies and deceptions don’t hold up over time. Respect and self respect, does. In the moment people can be deceived about who you are, but time reveals all. It might take LOTS of time, but does eventually, clear.

        Though I don’t know any of the particulars, Howie, I know you have endured much injustice. And I have to say for what it’s worth, I think you have chosen well and done right by yourself, and I admire you for who you have chosen to be. You are clear about who you are, what you stand for, and are your own person. You have my deep respect.

        3 years ago
        1. Michele

          “But lies and deceptions don’t hold up over time. Respect and self respect, does. In the moment people can be deceived about who you are, but time reveals all. It might take LOTS of time, but does eventually, clear.” – this is so true Holly!! I can relate to it with my ex. You think you know someone and then one day they are not who they were/pretended to be. Anyone effected by narcissism can relate to this. It’s been 5 yrs since my relationship with her ended and it’s still hard. Because of her I have major trust issues…

          3 years ago
        2. Howie Geib

          Holly, thank you so much for this reply to my post. It touches deeply. Alas, my words over the months here have revealed more than I know. That relationship with ourselves is key isn’t it? Wrestling with the angel! There are days when I am so tired. And yet it is a good tired. like after a full day of skiing or something. I sleep well. I am grateful dear friend.

          3 years ago
  26. Antoinette

    I show respect of others by showing up in any way I am able with an open heart to give my very best. I have found this to be very mutually fulfilling. The universe gives back 10 fold ! I’m eternally grateful.

    3 years ago
    1. Amber

      The universe is most definitely super generous!!!!

      3 years ago

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