Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MA_Author_Pages::$module_url is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/publishpress-authors-pro/lib/vendor/publishpress/publishpress-authors/src/modules/author-pages/author-pages.php on line 50
Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MA_Author_Pages::$module is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/publishpress-authors-pro/lib/vendor/publishpress/publishpress-authors/src/modules/author-pages/author-pages.php on line 80
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::current() should either be compatible with Iterator::current(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 62
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::next() should either be compatible with Iterator::next(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 69
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::key() should either be compatible with Iterator::key(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 76
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::valid() should either be compatible with Iterator::valid(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 83
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::rewind() should either be compatible with Iterator::rewind(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 90
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\PriorityRouteCollection::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/PriorityRouteCollection.php on line 97
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\QueryRoute::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/DerivativeRouteTrait.php on line 41
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\QueryRoute::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/DerivativeRouteTrait.php on line 50
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\QueryRoute::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/DerivativeRouteTrait.php on line 59
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\QueryRoute::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/DerivativeRouteTrait.php on line 67
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\Route::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/Route.php on line 62
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\Route::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/Route.php on line 69
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\Route::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/Route.php on line 76
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Route\Route::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Route/Route.php on line 83
Deprecated: Return type of WPUM\Brain\Cortex\Router\RouteFilterIterator::accept() should either be compatible with FilterIterator::accept(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Router/RouteFilterIterator.php on line 56
Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Uri/WordPressUri.php on line 66
Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Uri/WordPressUri.php on line 66
Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Uri/WordPressUri.php on line 66
Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Uri/WordPressUri.php on line 66
Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-user-manager/vendor-dist/brain/cortex/src/Cortex/Uri/WordPressUri.php on line 66 What can I learn from my regrets? - Grateful.org Warning: Undefined array key "insert" in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-word-count/public/class-wpwc-public.php on line 123
Warning: Undefined array key "insert" in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-word-count/public/class-wpwc-public.php on line 123
33 Reflections Warning: Undefined array key "insert" in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-word-count/public/class-wpwc-public.php on line 123
I try hard not to “regret”. When you know better, you do better. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Life is a learning process. Just got to keep moving forward, better & wiser.
Happy Saturday All. Look for Joy today. 🌼🐝✨🙏❤️
Oh my, so many things. To sum up, I would say to think carefully before going blindly ahead. Look at all sides of whatever I am thinking about, ASK QUESTIONS, and take some time with it…do not rush. In my experience, that is what has put me in the place of having regrets.
It’s good to be back in this holy Space. I will pop in and out as my health allows. Sometimes I get on to just read your responses, as they give me new ways of looking at things, so thank you all for being here.
To change. I was cross with my granddaughter’s nanny when helping her find her next job, and I regretted it and worked hard to remember the Dalai Lama’s religion – Kindness – and practice it in my further interactions with her. She expressed lots of gratitude for my help, which feels rewarding.
I’m reminded of how my mother regarded child rearing as a job filled with worry and regrets. When my son was born, I was happy to discover that, if I thought I’d done something wrong one day, I’d do it differently the next day! There are of course things I regret about how I raised my children, but the regrets were never dominant when I was raising them.
I am learning to not dwell on my regrets. Replaying scenarios and decisions over and over, is a distraction from being present.
Instead, I vow to make adjustments in my behavior and when necessary, make amends, apologize, and move forward.
This was not always possible for me, but through self awareness, I am beginning to see the patterns and I am able to observe them.
As regrets arise in the great compost heap of life, I can face and deal with them as best I can, when / as appropriate or necessary. I can offer kindness to myself, rather than direct a ‘second arrow’ of hurt inward. I can reach out for support from a trusted other to reframe and glean the learnings and any action to follow. I can let it go …
I have a section in my AM practice called “life’s regrets and the lessons learned”. Each AM I hope to either jot down a regret and, if I’m lucky, the lesson learned, or sometimes, just a regret, and return at a later date to jot down the lesson learned. Within the lessons learned are my personal shortcomings. For me, a lot of my regrets stem from acting out of fear of not being liked, accepted or rejected. That lesson learned becomes a focal point of my personal development, in this case, to learn how to accept myself from within and not rely on external forces for validation. So I learn a lot about myself when analyzing my regrets but I’d like to think the best part of it is what others learn about themselves when they witness me overcoming my shortcomings and becoming a better version of myself.
No regrets. Everything that has happened from all of my poor decisions to all of the good ones has led me to where I am today. I keep learning and growing, and sometimes that process includes pain and suffering. The good thing is, I’ve learned not to dwell on the pain and suffering and find the lesson. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason. I’m a believer!
This captures my philosophy as well. If I like who I am now, I have to accept all the twists and turns on the path that brought me to this point. I did a lot of work years ago to learn to set things down and not keep carrying burdens because the only person suffering was me and I was doing it to myself. I can carry the learning forward without the burden.
compassion and perspective—self compassion for my errors in judgment, harshness and fear. Fear provokes some negative actions on my part. The fear exposes my vulnerability, my aversion to letting events unfold organically..I have often acted in haste and urgency with painful results. This is how we learn. Blessed be.
The answer to today’s question is in the question. Regrets can, when we are willing, be a teachable moment. The question did make me chuckle and think of something I read years ago about the difference between regret and remorse. Remorse is like running a red light. If we get a ticket, we have remorse. If we don’t get caught, we definitely do not regret it! Tee-Hee!
I think regret is a spectrum that runs all the way from something I did for which I am sorry to something that I wished I had done. In the present, the learning is to choose wisely anywhere on the spectrum. The other learning is that we can’t change those past decisions but we can try to find wisdom, peace and joy today. This, perhaps, is a reason people come to this site. I am grateful for all of you.
You can’t change the past. Regret is just a negative emotion. Try to stay focused on the present. Learning is the key word. Have a good weekend everyone:)
It depends on what type of regret I am thinking about. Some regrets help to teach me, or at least reframe an action that I took so that I can consider doing it differently should there be a “next time.” Other regrets, like it or not, I just need to live with and learn to let go of over time. Blaming one self, I think, can be a close cousin to regret and serves no one well. Sometimes we need the love and attention of a person we trust to help us reframe this kind of regret so that we can actually learn from it.
Kevin, Thank you. I appreciate your naming self-blame as a close cousin of regret, which serves no one well. Also, the love and attention of a trusted person to help us to reframe, and learn from our regrets. So wise and helpful. Warmly, KC
Kevin, Sometimes when I’m regretting an action I took many years ago, the light bulb goes on and I realize that the person I was at that time was doing the best she could do. I call such moments: “Blinding gifts of the obvious.” It doesn’t change the consequences of the action I took so long ago but it brings me peace. Acceptance is such a gift. As English Philosopher Roger Scruton, a man who faced many serious challenges in his life, said in his final writings, “Coming close to death you begin to know what life means and what it means is gratitude.”
Thank you, Carol, this is a wonderful, carry-through how time helps us heal and move on. Love Scruton’s quote too. Hope the Gratefulness Team picks it up and uses it on this site, too.
Thanks for your kind words, my friend. I’m not sure about wise, but I have spent a good deal of my life “throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks!” Fortunately, enough stuck along the way. But oh, those poor walls! Wishing you good Spirit and Peace, Rabbit.
What has happened in the past has happened. In the present I have the chance to do it in a better way. I can learn to forgive , accept and evolve. If I wouldn’t have learnt something, I wouldn‘t regret. On a deeper level everything is perfect. Allways
Warning: Undefined array key "insert" in /sites/dev.grateful.org/files/wp-content/plugins/wp-word-count/public/class-wpwc-public.php on line 123
Stay Grateful
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
That everything is a life lesson. Forgive yourself and move forward
Acceptance of what was, know that it is not here now, and be open to what is.
I try hard not to “regret”. When you know better, you do better. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Life is a learning process. Just got to keep moving forward, better & wiser.
Happy Saturday All. Look for Joy today. 🌼🐝✨🙏❤️
Oh my, so many things. To sum up, I would say to think carefully before going blindly ahead. Look at all sides of whatever I am thinking about, ASK QUESTIONS, and take some time with it…do not rush. In my experience, that is what has put me in the place of having regrets.
It’s good to be back in this holy Space. I will pop in and out as my health allows. Sometimes I get on to just read your responses, as they give me new ways of looking at things, so thank you all for being here.
To change. I was cross with my granddaughter’s nanny when helping her find her next job, and I regretted it and worked hard to remember the Dalai Lama’s religion – Kindness – and practice it in my further interactions with her. She expressed lots of gratitude for my help, which feels rewarding.
I’m reminded of how my mother regarded child rearing as a job filled with worry and regrets. When my son was born, I was happy to discover that, if I thought I’d done something wrong one day, I’d do it differently the next day! There are of course things I regret about how I raised my children, but the regrets were never dominant when I was raising them.
I am learning to not dwell on my regrets. Replaying scenarios and decisions over and over, is a distraction from being present.
Instead, I vow to make adjustments in my behavior and when necessary, make amends, apologize, and move forward.
This was not always possible for me, but through self awareness, I am beginning to see the patterns and I am able to observe them.
As regrets arise in the great compost heap of life, I can face and deal with them as best I can, when / as appropriate or necessary. I can offer kindness to myself, rather than direct a ‘second arrow’ of hurt inward. I can reach out for support from a trusted other to reframe and glean the learnings and any action to follow. I can let it go …
Thank you, KC – I like what you say – compost, kindness, no second arrow of hurt inward! 🙂
🙂
I have a section in my AM practice called “life’s regrets and the lessons learned”. Each AM I hope to either jot down a regret and, if I’m lucky, the lesson learned, or sometimes, just a regret, and return at a later date to jot down the lesson learned. Within the lessons learned are my personal shortcomings. For me, a lot of my regrets stem from acting out of fear of not being liked, accepted or rejected. That lesson learned becomes a focal point of my personal development, in this case, to learn how to accept myself from within and not rely on external forces for validation. So I learn a lot about myself when analyzing my regrets but I’d like to think the best part of it is what others learn about themselves when they witness me overcoming my shortcomings and becoming a better version of myself.
No regrets. Everything that has happened from all of my poor decisions to all of the good ones has led me to where I am today. I keep learning and growing, and sometimes that process includes pain and suffering. The good thing is, I’ve learned not to dwell on the pain and suffering and find the lesson. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason. I’m a believer!
This captures my philosophy as well. If I like who I am now, I have to accept all the twists and turns on the path that brought me to this point. I did a lot of work years ago to learn to set things down and not keep carrying burdens because the only person suffering was me and I was doing it to myself. I can carry the learning forward without the burden.
Yes – right on, Barb! We have the choice on what we carry around. That was a tough but great lesson to learn!
compassion and perspective—self compassion for my errors in judgment, harshness and fear. Fear provokes some negative actions on my part. The fear exposes my vulnerability, my aversion to letting events unfold organically..I have often acted in haste and urgency with painful results. This is how we learn. Blessed be.
The answer to today’s question is in the question. Regrets can, when we are willing, be a teachable moment. The question did make me chuckle and think of something I read years ago about the difference between regret and remorse. Remorse is like running a red light. If we get a ticket, we have remorse. If we don’t get caught, we definitely do not regret it! Tee-Hee!
That’s a good one, Carol, about the red light and regret and remorse 🙂
I’ve learned to not have regrets. Everything DOES happen for a reason. There’s many lessons to be learned along the way while living life.
This question reminds me of a song. I posted it in the Gratitude Lounge.
Such a great song, Rabbit! A wonderful start to my day 🙂
There should be no regrets..only lessons learned.
I think regret is a spectrum that runs all the way from something I did for which I am sorry to something that I wished I had done. In the present, the learning is to choose wisely anywhere on the spectrum. The other learning is that we can’t change those past decisions but we can try to find wisdom, peace and joy today. This, perhaps, is a reason people come to this site. I am grateful for all of you.
Well put. This helps me unpack some thoughts on this–I don’t really like this question.
My regrets have taught me to be more open to everything lthat ilife offers and not to be fearful of anything.
You can’t change the past. Regret is just a negative emotion. Try to stay focused on the present. Learning is the key word. Have a good weekend everyone:)
It depends on what type of regret I am thinking about. Some regrets help to teach me, or at least reframe an action that I took so that I can consider doing it differently should there be a “next time.” Other regrets, like it or not, I just need to live with and learn to let go of over time. Blaming one self, I think, can be a close cousin to regret and serves no one well. Sometimes we need the love and attention of a person we trust to help us reframe this kind of regret so that we can actually learn from it.
Kevin, Thank you. I appreciate your naming self-blame as a close cousin of regret, which serves no one well. Also, the love and attention of a trusted person to help us to reframe, and learn from our regrets. So wise and helpful. Warmly, KC
Thanks, KC, and it’s so nice to hear from you in particular. Hope all is well.
Kevin, Sometimes when I’m regretting an action I took many years ago, the light bulb goes on and I realize that the person I was at that time was doing the best she could do. I call such moments: “Blinding gifts of the obvious.” It doesn’t change the consequences of the action I took so long ago but it brings me peace. Acceptance is such a gift. As English Philosopher Roger Scruton, a man who faced many serious challenges in his life, said in his final writings, “Coming close to death you begin to know what life means and what it means is gratitude.”
Thank you, Carol, this is a wonderful, carry-through how time helps us heal and move on. Love Scruton’s quote too. Hope the Gratefulness Team picks it up and uses it on this site, too.
Thank you Kevin. You are so wise. I am grateful you take time to post on this page.
Thanks for your kind words, my friend. I’m not sure about wise, but I have spent a good deal of my life “throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks!” Fortunately, enough stuck along the way. But oh, those poor walls! Wishing you good Spirit and Peace, Rabbit.
What has happened in the past has happened. In the present I have the chance to do it in a better way. I can learn to forgive , accept and evolve. If I wouldn’t have learnt something, I wouldn‘t regret. On a deeper level everything is perfect. Allways
Yes, all is grace!