I call it my 50% rule. If I am planning something or figuring on getting something done…. even thinking about how a day will go….. I have come to believe in the 50% rule. 50% is what I think and figure on – what I hope for, organize for, plan on, visualize, “assume”….. and then 50% is what actually happens! And they may be totally different from each other! “Fifty per cent is what i think. Fifty per cent is what actually happens”. We shouldn’t be surprised to be surprised, or confused to be confused. What we think isn’t half as real as what actually is. shocking, I know!😆
During a part of another epiphany,
I realized
that we are all one,
even the demons who will remain nameless.
It is beautiful,
really,
to realize we are a part of everything,
and everything is a part of us . . .
I love to share my beating heart with the birds,
flying high in the sky,
warm my soul with my hand on a sun-drenched rock,
finding an infinite connection in the eyes of a deer,
or a cat,
or a snake,
or a fellow human being.
I am honored
when a butterfly lands on my finger,
or a squirrel drinks from my bird bath.
The hard part
is realizing that the negative . . .
the harmful,
the poisonous
are also what lives in all of us.
The monsters are our shadow,
and they are perhaps the ones who need us the most.
They need our compassion and our love…
We alienate them
but they are the lost, frightened children
crouched behind the curtain.
They use their rage to make us believe they can overpower us,
but it is up to us
to hold them to our hearts
and welcome them into the fold . . .
heal their pain
and give them our forgiveness,
making them whole again,
and part of our eternal garden. ♥
I wish I were that person Sparrow, and that is a big ask right now. I own my shadows, they are gifted teachers. As for others’, I can intellectualize and release, however not own or wrap my arms around them. As I say, I wish I were that person. Blessings on your day, Sprrow. ❤️
That an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind !
Being resentful or giving someone a taste of their own medicine is no way to live. This kind of behaviour leads to pain and suffering- no one wins whatever.
I am grateful I learned to self-reflect and look at things, people, and behaviors that do not align with who I am or who I want to be. Even though at times it may hurt, I can look at it, change my behavior or associations, and name it for what it is instead of living in denial or with blinders on. This process brings truth and peace.
Oh boy, one lesson? I guess one would be, you get what you give. If you want love, give love. If you want friendship, give friendship. If you want support, give support. The world seems to work this way on some level. It’s not always fair and it’s not usually immediate, but the energy you put out there, is often the energy you receive back.
I think we had a recent WOTD to the effect that when we do something with the intent of helping or giving joy is never lost. The response may not be immediate or ever but it is not lost.
The power of surrender. Surrender is very different from submission. Submission says “I will rise again.” Surrender says, “Here I am.” It does not bargain with reality. To borrow the words of Miribai Starr in R. Rohr’s daily meditation, “…an open heart does not otherize.” It is pure trust/faith that doesn’t depend on man-made dogma.
I was lying in a hospital. Stress had put me there. My 35 year marriage was in shambles. I knew I could not go back to my home. I had to own this reality. I had failed in the eyes of society. It was so humbling to own this truth but it was paradoxical. The moment I owned it the energy in the room was electric…swirling around me…I felt like it was lifting me off of the bed…every tense muscle in my body relaxed…They had told me my digestive system was so inflamed, it looked like raw hamburger but in that moment, I knew the biopsy they had taken would not be cancerous. I had no idea how I would navigate this new realty, this separation from my husband. I would like to say that it was easy after that but it was not. It was a struggle. I trudged; I wept a river of tears but I am still gaining self awareness from that incident that happened over 25 years ago. Life is trustworthy and wants so much for us to grow and know that we are not alone.
This is a difficult question for me as I feel that Im still in the process of learning. I will think about this more today and look forward to reading other’s responses.
I’m grateful to have learned that even when objectively really bad things happen in my life, I continue on and I’ve learned something from that event that will help me handle adversity in the future. I’ve also learned in that process that life puts down layers over memories. If I keep digging them up by revisiting them they stay fresh and painful. If I move forward and revisit only the lesson I’ve made the best of a bad situation. Eventually the pain doesn’t wound the same way it did originally, I’ve internalized the lesson, and I’ve evolved a bit.
The passage of time definitely helps with this–more layers being put down over things that happened a long time ago. If something really bad happened today I wouldn’t expect to just carry the lesson and leave the pain the very next day. But I’d know that this process would eventually play out and that today’s sting will diminish.
This all has to do with personal pains, stings, and adversity, not the larger systemic shifts that continue to hurt people anew every single day.
Hmmm…there have been so many. One valuable life lesson has been realizing, only by the grace of God, that it’s not my job to “fix” everything. Handing my “repair prospects” over to the “Ultimate Fixer” has been a journey-lesson for sure. Often times, He reminds me that I’m swerving out of my lane.
One lesson that I am grateful to have learned and still be relearning is not to assume that other people know how I feel. And that it can be worth the time and effort and risk involved to sit down and write out my own feelings/needs and then sit down with that person to communicate and listen.
There are so many, but I’m going with this one – suffering really is optional.
Someone once told me that some people were meant to live a life of suffering here on earth, but in heaven they would be saints with a seat next to God. That didn’t settle right with me, but it did help push me in the right direction. The truth spoke louder in my mind. That’s when I found the courage I didn’t know I had and took steps to change my life.
“………..some people were meant to live a life of suffering here in earth, but in heaven they would be saints with a seat next to God.” The grand carrot and stick theory of western religion is what it sounds like to me SunnyPatti.
I hear you. It’s not the religion I grew up with, but it was definitely the religion I was previously married into. It was my ex’s aunt who said those words to me, knowing I was suffering. But I allowed that suffering, and I am so grateful that I finally realized that I did not have to suffer anymore. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, I do not think we are here to suffer, but to learn, evolve, and realize our own shared divinity.
I go more for “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” It’s the message that means the most, but suffering is a harsh word to me since I was the one told that I was basically meant to live a life of it. I’m glad she was wrong!!
It’s healthy and good to keep getting uncomfortable. The opposite—staying safe all the time—leads to shrinking and confinement. Make an effort to do something uncomfortable often, and life will be richer.
Don’t go too far from the root when venturing out. Staying close to my: family, elders, and culture helps me heal more naturally and step out of my comfort zone without being foolish.
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To love and to surrender to love is the way. Thank you. Blessings to all. 🙏✨🙏❤️
I call it my 50% rule. If I am planning something or figuring on getting something done…. even thinking about how a day will go….. I have come to believe in the 50% rule. 50% is what I think and figure on – what I hope for, organize for, plan on, visualize, “assume”….. and then 50% is what actually happens! And they may be totally different from each other! “Fifty per cent is what i think. Fifty per cent is what actually happens”. We shouldn’t be surprised to be surprised, or confused to be confused. What we think isn’t half as real as what actually is. shocking, I know!😆
During a part of another epiphany,
I realized
that we are all one,
even the demons who will remain nameless.
It is beautiful,
really,
to realize we are a part of everything,
and everything is a part of us . . .
I love to share my beating heart with the birds,
flying high in the sky,
warm my soul with my hand on a sun-drenched rock,
finding an infinite connection in the eyes of a deer,
or a cat,
or a snake,
or a fellow human being.
I am honored
when a butterfly lands on my finger,
or a squirrel drinks from my bird bath.
The hard part
is realizing that the negative . . .
the harmful,
the poisonous
are also what lives in all of us.
The monsters are our shadow,
and they are perhaps the ones who need us the most.
They need our compassion and our love…
We alienate them
but they are the lost, frightened children
crouched behind the curtain.
They use their rage to make us believe they can overpower us,
but it is up to us
to hold them to our hearts
and welcome them into the fold . . .
heal their pain
and give them our forgiveness,
making them whole again,
and part of our eternal garden. ♥
I wish I were that person Sparrow, and that is a big ask right now. I own my shadows, they are gifted teachers. As for others’, I can intellectualize and release, however not own or wrap my arms around them. As I say, I wish I were that person. Blessings on your day, Sprrow. ❤️
I wish I were more of that person too,
dear Mary…
it’s something I aspire to. ♥
Indeed, thank you, Sparrow.❤️
Thank you dearly for this, dear Sparrow. Blessings be with you.
Blessings for you too,
dear Ose…
I’ve always valued your words
with love…♥
That an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind !
Being resentful or giving someone a taste of their own medicine is no way to live. This kind of behaviour leads to pain and suffering- no one wins whatever.
So true Antoinette. Thank you.
Wow. Wonderful question, and such thoughtful reflections. Thank you all!
First one for me, from Antonio Machado. Walker, there is no path. We make the path by walking…
The second lesson I am practicing/ learning is to slow down to the speed of wisdom (from Compassionate Listening)
Each of these are a work in progress. Grateful for the journey, and for each of you! .. Best for a beautiful Tuesday, and almost fuil moon! …
Amen K C, thank you.❤️
Wonderful answers,
dear KC…
I like your perspective. ♥️
I am grateful I learned to self-reflect and look at things, people, and behaviors that do not align with who I am or who I want to be. Even though at times it may hurt, I can look at it, change my behavior or associations, and name it for what it is instead of living in denial or with blinders on. This process brings truth and peace.
Oh boy, one lesson? I guess one would be, you get what you give. If you want love, give love. If you want friendship, give friendship. If you want support, give support. The world seems to work this way on some level. It’s not always fair and it’s not usually immediate, but the energy you put out there, is often the energy you receive back.
I think we had a recent WOTD to the effect that when we do something with the intent of helping or giving joy is never lost. The response may not be immediate or ever but it is not lost.
I have come to believe this too,
dear Charlie,
although I didn’t in my younger years.
Thanks
for this beautifully simple answer. ♥
The power of surrender. Surrender is very different from submission. Submission says “I will rise again.” Surrender says, “Here I am.” It does not bargain with reality. To borrow the words of Miribai Starr in R. Rohr’s daily meditation, “…an open heart does not otherize.” It is pure trust/faith that doesn’t depend on man-made dogma.
I was lying in a hospital. Stress had put me there. My 35 year marriage was in shambles. I knew I could not go back to my home. I had to own this reality. I had failed in the eyes of society. It was so humbling to own this truth but it was paradoxical. The moment I owned it the energy in the room was electric…swirling around me…I felt like it was lifting me off of the bed…every tense muscle in my body relaxed…They had told me my digestive system was so inflamed, it looked like raw hamburger but in that moment, I knew the biopsy they had taken would not be cancerous. I had no idea how I would navigate this new realty, this separation from my husband. I would like to say that it was easy after that but it was not. It was a struggle. I trudged; I wept a river of tears but I am still gaining self awareness from that incident that happened over 25 years ago. Life is trustworthy and wants so much for us to grow and know that we are not alone.
For those who would like to read Miribai Starr’s essay, Here’s a link to Rohr’s meditation: https://cac.org/daily-meditations/a-mystics-heart/
Thank you for sharing this powerful experience from your past, Carol! I am so glad that you made it through that difficult time.
Thank you for posting this link,
dear Carol…
I’ve been benefiting from Richard Rohr’s wisdom for some years now. ♥️
This is a difficult question for me as I feel that Im still in the process of learning. I will think about this more today and look forward to reading other’s responses.
I’m grateful to have learned that even when objectively really bad things happen in my life, I continue on and I’ve learned something from that event that will help me handle adversity in the future. I’ve also learned in that process that life puts down layers over memories. If I keep digging them up by revisiting them they stay fresh and painful. If I move forward and revisit only the lesson I’ve made the best of a bad situation. Eventually the pain doesn’t wound the same way it did originally, I’ve internalized the lesson, and I’ve evolved a bit.
The passage of time definitely helps with this–more layers being put down over things that happened a long time ago. If something really bad happened today I wouldn’t expect to just carry the lesson and leave the pain the very next day. But I’d know that this process would eventually play out and that today’s sting will diminish.
This all has to do with personal pains, stings, and adversity, not the larger systemic shifts that continue to hurt people anew every single day.
Yes, Barb, evolution instead of revolution…don’t fight, face and feel, learn the lesson and grow.
Hmmm…there have been so many. One valuable life lesson has been realizing, only by the grace of God, that it’s not my job to “fix” everything. Handing my “repair prospects” over to the “Ultimate Fixer” has been a journey-lesson for sure. Often times, He reminds me that I’m swerving out of my lane.
One lesson that I am grateful to have learned and still be relearning is not to assume that other people know how I feel. And that it can be worth the time and effort and risk involved to sit down and write out my own feelings/needs and then sit down with that person to communicate and listen.
There are so many, but I’m going with this one – suffering really is optional.
Someone once told me that some people were meant to live a life of suffering here on earth, but in heaven they would be saints with a seat next to God. That didn’t settle right with me, but it did help push me in the right direction. The truth spoke louder in my mind. That’s when I found the courage I didn’t know I had and took steps to change my life.
“………..some people were meant to live a life of suffering here in earth, but in heaven they would be saints with a seat next to God.” The grand carrot and stick theory of western religion is what it sounds like to me SunnyPatti.
I hear you. It’s not the religion I grew up with, but it was definitely the religion I was previously married into. It was my ex’s aunt who said those words to me, knowing I was suffering. But I allowed that suffering, and I am so grateful that I finally realized that I did not have to suffer anymore. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, I do not think we are here to suffer, but to learn, evolve, and realize our own shared divinity.
We have a saying in 12-step that “There will be suffering but misery is optional.” That was very helpful for me.
I go more for “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” It’s the message that means the most, but suffering is a harsh word to me since I was the one told that I was basically meant to live a life of it. I’m glad she was wrong!!
Patti, I like your saying better. Thanks for sharing it.
It’s healthy and good to keep getting uncomfortable. The opposite—staying safe all the time—leads to shrinking and confinement. Make an effort to do something uncomfortable often, and life will be richer.
This has been so true for me, Drea.
Learning to become comfortable when uncomfortable.
Such great advice, Drea! I have copied that down as an incentive to take more risks.
Don’t go too far from the root when venturing out. Staying close to my: family, elders, and culture helps me heal more naturally and step out of my comfort zone without being foolish.