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Today’s question is the same as yesterday’s- so I’ll see what comes up for me now .
I’m surprised by how much life teaches me each moment and when I let go of ideas, expectations, thoughts, storylines about the past and the future there is freedom.
Freedom from the bondages of ruminating.
Love, truth and trust open up when I let go.
I have had to tailor my expectations. At age 16, I set out to change the world with love. Of course, the part of the world that changed the most was myself, and not even that successfully, ha! My expectations are presently a good deal more humble, yet I am a great deal more grateful for even the smallest lasting change.
The desire of others to give. To give of their time, of their experience, of their resources. It amazes me how people have no expectation of a benefit to themselves and just give.
Life in general has surpassed my expectations – as a child I was small and a late bloomer add this to family addiction issues and let’s just say life was tough and I had to get tough to survive.
Then as a young adult my path began to get smoother, only for me to have mysterious health, pregnancy and pain issues – – well at 30 I thought this is it I will be like this the rest of my life. Childless and unable to move much if any at all!
But then I was gifted with Tai chi, meditation through contemplative prayer, good doctors AND had a child and my life turned around!
You just never know what to expect if you remain hopeful, grateful, and keep trying.
At times I am so thankful for minor issues because that means I am functioning – LIVING!!!
When I take the time to look back I realize I had never expected the life I am living – it has surpassed any hope I held during my dark times.
The willingness of other people to accept me as I am. I think my anxiety set the expectations very low, but I’m blown away by how much some people can not just accept, but earnestly love, my quirky and weird self.
My ability to know love, give love, BE love, and be LOVED. I had it all wrong in the past, and I thank God for His grace, patience, guidance, and, of course, love! He taught me to love myself, and that changed my entire world.
Being alive is in and of itself surpassed anything! Life is a miracle! I have a precious human life that is something to truly be grateful and amazed by!
So hard to answer as I’m not really sure what expectations I have had!
But a few things do strike me – the love shown to me by family and my husband -I am forever grateful and somewhat surprised by the strength and endurance of their love; the fact that I have come full circle -I started in a job I loved (teaching), somehow accidentally ended up as a Head Teacher of the school I was in and then executive Head of three school, nearly collapsed under the strain, took time out, struggled to find self worth again and finally have ended up back in my original school in class, enjoying the time with the children; amazing improvements to my health allowing me to live normally, at least for now….
It is good to stop and think and realise again how lucky I am.
How much I remember. I’m two-thirds through life and even the distant past feels close at hand — mainly the things that have come to make my life feel meaningful to me. I’ve saved a lot of mementos over the years, which helps, but I also feel wealthy in my memory.
I think I have written something like this before as well and to me it means that I do what I believe is right ethically/ give love unconditionally. To not have an expectation means we move through the world doing what’s right. We can’t control the outside world but we can make choices to the right thing . Going with the flow means to me that when things happen out of my control I may not like them but I can choose my best response and go with the flow. An example could be I get a migraine and I don’t want to have one but I must make a good choice and take my meds and let my body rest. I go with the flow by accepting reality.
I think this is what I mean most of the time when I no expectations and go with the flow . Hope this is helpful.
Of course we don’t always do the right thing! We’re human! I would like to always be present enough to make ethical conduct my go to way of being but sometimes my emotions take over and maybe I say an unwise thing or make an unwise decision. Could be I eat too much ice cream and my stomach hurts! It doesn’t matter what exact examples we use.
When I think of expecting I think of how I want others to respond to me . That’s where I get caught or stuck. I find Disappointment lies in expectations. I can’t control others or even many of the events that occur in the world but I can try my best to respond with compassion and kindness. I can say yes this too to the present moment letting go of whatever ideas of expectations are there.
Does this help?
2
Holly in Ohio
4 years ago
I think the questions strike us differently at different times. We also have a community here that is deeply rich in diversity. I benefit from understanding different perspectives. Would you care to elaborate, Lauryn?
When I think of how far things have progressed, like party lines on the telephone, a car that monitors how close I come to another car and alerts me, a TV that is only 3 inches thick, seeing my children on a screen and talking in real time, how small the world is, and how interconnected we all are. Then there are the things that have a long way to go yet and lessons yet to be learned.
I think I protect myself from the pain of disappointment by keeping expectations low. On the other hand, if I had expectations about my late life marriage, they have been wildly exceeded – am blessed beyond imagining with financial comfort that has enabled enriching travel and cultural experiences, a wider circle of wonderful new friendships and the simple joys of daily domestic life.
My lengthy career (43 years) as a Speech-Language Pathologist being able to do the work, meet the people, have the positions I had. My friendships have surpassed anything I could have imagined; the family I had (now that I am able to reflect on all those years); the husband i was gifted with; living in Ludington, Michigan and having an amazing life.
What has surpassed my expectations in life? I’m having difficulty with this question. I guess living a simple life is not what I expected my life to be. But somehow I’m ok living with day to day reality. I do hope for a brighter future for my life and for the world and know we are all in transition in one way or another but I am not trying to escape like I once did. So I guess that life in the day to day has become acceptable when at one time it was unbearable. I don’t know if that is contentment or depression. I don’t question life as much or have fantasies for something else. At 65 in decent health with room for improvement I can count my blessings but I still want vitality and people to share good times with. So living a simple life with me and my kitten is enough right now and a trust and have faith in God being in control not me life. I’m open to surprises but I don’t really have expectations. I have hope for a better world and see some progress and lots of injustices but since they are being exposed i do hope the hating, violence, and greed are on the way out. It’s hard to witness with hope. But I do have hope. It’s not so much in what I see or expect. I’m not sure if that makes any sense but it’s better than living in fear and delusion. So like Kevin I would have thought we’d be further along by now. But I still hope for a better world, a healthier earth, justice, love and kindness to be the norm. Marvin Gay’s song rings to mind, “What’s going on?” It’s sobering but I do hope injustice it runs its’ course and we enter into the age of Aquarius where peace and understanding becomes our reality. I’m still a hippy at heart!
Motherhood. It is the only blood connection I have with any one in my life. Before I became a mother I hoped it might help me to share part of my life with a child…I had NO idea those little people would consume my existance! LOL But honestly, motherhood has seen me at my bravest, scared-est, happiest, saddest, and everything in between. It is honestly, the best part of my life.
My family is the first thing that came to mind.
My family is an “assortment” that came together. My husband and I, coming together as second marriages, coming together from two different continents with limited face-to-face time ahead of marriage, coming together and raising three children who had been through much, one of whom not related to either of us, but sort of washed up on our shore… who would have given us odds on success? That we are now really a family and feel together is nothing short of a miracle.
That I am actually working as a public school teacher. Did not think 20 years ago, that I would be this “settled” as a mature, older woman. So feel lucky.
There are so many people who love me deeply & I can’t think of anything better than that coupled with: God has been with me through some excruciatingly difficult times, nurturing me & then demonstrated great patience as I turned my back on God. It blows my mind that God still adores me….
As I age I have been made aware how important it is to either lower expectations or have none at all. Surpassing expectations seems unobtainable to me.
Hi Michele,
It’s true that expectations can lead to heartbreak & then BAM, out of the blue, something happens that leaves us speechless because of its unexpected beauty.
My faith. I was brought up to doubt everything and everyone. Not intentionally, it was not a programming effort on the part of family or schooling, And yet, it seems that the dominant North American culture in which I am planted seemed to reinforce a sense of uncertainty. And thus, promoted a development of self sufficiency. This has been a hard part of my personality to disengage. And yet, I find more and more that I actually do rely on God more than myself, specifically I rely on the influence of the Spirit through my Soul in life. And the result has been breathtaking.
I had a troubled youth which led to have a very cute expectations in young adulthood. And then came a spiritual renewal which was a real beginning of my life. So far everything has surpassed my expectations.
That I can overcome. I think about this quote:
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted”. Christine Caine
Grow and overcome 🌱🌿🌳.
Modern technology has surpassed my expectations. I remember as a child watching tv shows and cartoons ( yes the Jetsons😊) and seeing their interpretation of the future. I remember my visit to Epcot centre at Walt Disney world and marvelled at what the future would hold for us and thought it to be an impossible dream. I look around and see what we have and how far we have gone only in a few years. There has been many positivities but at the same time modern tech has created dilemmas.
Life in general has been nothing but an undeserved blessing for me. Azan non-college educated person, I was fortunate to work for a large corporation for 12 years ending up in the mergers and Acquisitions group where I My Success went beyond my wildest expectations. my greatest accomplishment having had a very unstable childhood is the 43 years and I have spent with my loving wife, and the two healthy children that God has given me. Today will be yet another day I let you take the time to stop look go hopefully many times to pinch myself and remind myself how truly blessed fortunate I am to have been successful, had someone to love me for my entire life and have children that I hope soon will give me grandchildren 2 love as I grow old.
Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, I naively thought that my country, and my countrymen, would have learned our lessons from engagement in endless wars that we had no business being in. But alas, here we are, post-Vietnam, and now two decades and counting and still at war in Afghanistan. I would have ‘expected,’ that by now my fellow countrymen would have said enough, that it is time to care for our citizens who are hurting, to fix our decaying bridges and build up our flailing schools for our children and finally redirect our trillions away from war-building to people-building. But sadly, my hope and my expectation, have been surpassed by something other that makes no sense.
(Post note: I am sure that today’s question was meant to draw out something positive. But as I read it over and over to myself, for me, as a Quaker and passivist, this for some reason needed saying first. I apologize if it reads like a “Debbie-downer.”)
To see so much beauty, in many places I was allowed to visit, nature in all its breathtaking appearance, from the tiny most beautiful flowers to gorgeous landscapes or even most fascinating underwater worlds, to get to know so many wonderful people who do care for others with a joyful and peaceful heart and mind, where I may feel welcome and connected to, which has been a path until I was able to trust into again. For this all I am deeply grateful to life. To feel connected to His love in this all is a great gift. Greetings from my heart to all of you on this beautiful morning.
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Today’s question is the same as yesterday’s- so I’ll see what comes up for me now .
I’m surprised by how much life teaches me each moment and when I let go of ideas, expectations, thoughts, storylines about the past and the future there is freedom.
Freedom from the bondages of ruminating.
Love, truth and trust open up when I let go.
That I can share my life with my partner for over 30 years and we’re still talking and have common interests.
I have had to tailor my expectations. At age 16, I set out to change the world with love. Of course, the part of the world that changed the most was myself, and not even that successfully, ha! My expectations are presently a good deal more humble, yet I am a great deal more grateful for even the smallest lasting change.
The desire of others to give. To give of their time, of their experience, of their resources. It amazes me how people have no expectation of a benefit to themselves and just give.
Life in general has surpassed my expectations – as a child I was small and a late bloomer add this to family addiction issues and let’s just say life was tough and I had to get tough to survive.
Then as a young adult my path began to get smoother, only for me to have mysterious health, pregnancy and pain issues – – well at 30 I thought this is it I will be like this the rest of my life. Childless and unable to move much if any at all!
But then I was gifted with Tai chi, meditation through contemplative prayer, good doctors AND had a child and my life turned around!
You just never know what to expect if you remain hopeful, grateful, and keep trying.
At times I am so thankful for minor issues because that means I am functioning – LIVING!!!
When I take the time to look back I realize I had never expected the life I am living – it has surpassed any hope I held during my dark times.
Being a twin. To share childhood with another makes for a lifetime loving bond. Which I did not expect as a child.
The willingness of other people to accept me as I am. I think my anxiety set the expectations very low, but I’m blown away by how much some people can not just accept, but earnestly love, my quirky and weird self.
My ability to know love, give love, BE love, and be LOVED. I had it all wrong in the past, and I thank God for His grace, patience, guidance, and, of course, love! He taught me to love myself, and that changed my entire world.
Being alive is in and of itself surpassed anything! Life is a miracle! I have a precious human life that is something to truly be grateful and amazed by!
The depth of a bond between human and animal.
Nice to see you again!
Thank you Michele!
Yes that has been a big theme for me.
Welcome back, dear Francine! So long since you have been here present. It is joy to see you again. Greetings from my heart, Ose.
Thank you Ose!
So hard to answer as I’m not really sure what expectations I have had!
But a few things do strike me – the love shown to me by family and my husband -I am forever grateful and somewhat surprised by the strength and endurance of their love; the fact that I have come full circle -I started in a job I loved (teaching), somehow accidentally ended up as a Head Teacher of the school I was in and then executive Head of three school, nearly collapsed under the strain, took time out, struggled to find self worth again and finally have ended up back in my original school in class, enjoying the time with the children; amazing improvements to my health allowing me to live normally, at least for now….
It is good to stop and think and realise again how lucky I am.
The power and resilience of the Truth. And the stupidity and ignorance of those that think they can hide or obscure it.
How much I remember. I’m two-thirds through life and even the distant past feels close at hand — mainly the things that have come to make my life feel meaningful to me. I’ve saved a lot of mementos over the years, which helps, but I also feel wealthy in my memory.
Retired life in central Mexico. Been here since 2003!
My current life, for the last few yrs, and as far into the future as I can ‘see’. Such wonderful changes from most of my earlier life.
You are a ray of sunshine, Mica. 🙂
I am incredibly lucky : )
I’m actually trying not to have any expectations and go with the flow.
I see this mentioned many times here and can accept it. But does this mean you live without any goals or visions, only in the present all of the time?
I think I have written something like this before as well and to me it means that I do what I believe is right ethically/ give love unconditionally. To not have an expectation means we move through the world doing what’s right. We can’t control the outside world but we can make choices to the right thing . Going with the flow means to me that when things happen out of my control I may not like them but I can choose my best response and go with the flow. An example could be I get a migraine and I don’t want to have one but I must make a good choice and take my meds and let my body rest. I go with the flow by accepting reality.
I think this is what I mean most of the time when I no expectations and go with the flow . Hope this is helpful.
I like what you said here. There’s a problem I see with defining what is an expectation. You expect to do the right thing. But sometimes you don’t?
Of course we don’t always do the right thing! We’re human! I would like to always be present enough to make ethical conduct my go to way of being but sometimes my emotions take over and maybe I say an unwise thing or make an unwise decision. Could be I eat too much ice cream and my stomach hurts! It doesn’t matter what exact examples we use.
When I think of expecting I think of how I want others to respond to me . That’s where I get caught or stuck. I find Disappointment lies in expectations. I can’t control others or even many of the events that occur in the world but I can try my best to respond with compassion and kindness. I can say yes this too to the present moment letting go of whatever ideas of expectations are there.
Does this help?
I think the questions strike us differently at different times. We also have a community here that is deeply rich in diversity. I benefit from understanding different perspectives. Would you care to elaborate, Lauryn?
When I think of how far things have progressed, like party lines on the telephone, a car that monitors how close I come to another car and alerts me, a TV that is only 3 inches thick, seeing my children on a screen and talking in real time, how small the world is, and how interconnected we all are. Then there are the things that have a long way to go yet and lessons yet to be learned.
I think I protect myself from the pain of disappointment by keeping expectations low. On the other hand, if I had expectations about my late life marriage, they have been wildly exceeded – am blessed beyond imagining with financial comfort that has enabled enriching travel and cultural experiences, a wider circle of wonderful new friendships and the simple joys of daily domestic life.
That’s wonderful, Elaine
My lengthy career (43 years) as a Speech-Language Pathologist being able to do the work, meet the people, have the positions I had. My friendships have surpassed anything I could have imagined; the family I had (now that I am able to reflect on all those years); the husband i was gifted with; living in Ludington, Michigan and having an amazing life.
What has surpassed my expectations in life? I’m having difficulty with this question. I guess living a simple life is not what I expected my life to be. But somehow I’m ok living with day to day reality. I do hope for a brighter future for my life and for the world and know we are all in transition in one way or another but I am not trying to escape like I once did. So I guess that life in the day to day has become acceptable when at one time it was unbearable. I don’t know if that is contentment or depression. I don’t question life as much or have fantasies for something else. At 65 in decent health with room for improvement I can count my blessings but I still want vitality and people to share good times with. So living a simple life with me and my kitten is enough right now and a trust and have faith in God being in control not me life. I’m open to surprises but I don’t really have expectations. I have hope for a better world and see some progress and lots of injustices but since they are being exposed i do hope the hating, violence, and greed are on the way out. It’s hard to witness with hope. But I do have hope. It’s not so much in what I see or expect. I’m not sure if that makes any sense but it’s better than living in fear and delusion. So like Kevin I would have thought we’d be further along by now. But I still hope for a better world, a healthier earth, justice, love and kindness to be the norm. Marvin Gay’s song rings to mind, “What’s going on?” It’s sobering but I do hope injustice it runs its’ course and we enter into the age of Aquarius where peace and understanding becomes our reality. I’m still a hippy at heart!
It’s good, at least, to have a living ball of fur at home with you, isn’t it? May friends and vitality come to you : )
Motherhood. It is the only blood connection I have with any one in my life. Before I became a mother I hoped it might help me to share part of my life with a child…I had NO idea those little people would consume my existance! LOL But honestly, motherhood has seen me at my bravest, scared-est, happiest, saddest, and everything in between. It is honestly, the best part of my life.
How wonderful, DeVonna <3
My family is the first thing that came to mind.
My family is an “assortment” that came together. My husband and I, coming together as second marriages, coming together from two different continents with limited face-to-face time ahead of marriage, coming together and raising three children who had been through much, one of whom not related to either of us, but sort of washed up on our shore… who would have given us odds on success? That we are now really a family and feel together is nothing short of a miracle.
Thank you, Holly in Ohio, for your wonderful story <3
That I am actually working as a public school teacher. Did not think 20 years ago, that I would be this “settled” as a mature, older woman. So feel lucky.
There are so many people who love me deeply & I can’t think of anything better than that coupled with: God has been with me through some excruciatingly difficult times, nurturing me & then demonstrated great patience as I turned my back on God. It blows my mind that God still adores me….
As I age I have been made aware how important it is to either lower expectations or have none at all. Surpassing expectations seems unobtainable to me.
Hi Michele,
It’s true that expectations can lead to heartbreak & then BAM, out of the blue, something happens that leaves us speechless because of its unexpected beauty.
My faith. I was brought up to doubt everything and everyone. Not intentionally, it was not a programming effort on the part of family or schooling, And yet, it seems that the dominant North American culture in which I am planted seemed to reinforce a sense of uncertainty. And thus, promoted a development of self sufficiency. This has been a hard part of my personality to disengage. And yet, I find more and more that I actually do rely on God more than myself, specifically I rely on the influence of the Spirit through my Soul in life. And the result has been breathtaking.
I had a troubled youth which led to have a very cute expectations in young adulthood. And then came a spiritual renewal which was a real beginning of my life. So far everything has surpassed my expectations.
That there is always transformation if I seek and welcome it.
That I can overcome. I think about this quote:
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted”. Christine Caine
Grow and overcome 🌱🌿🌳.
I am going to write this quote down, good one, thank you:)
Great quote Christine.
Thank you for that quote, Christine. I will remember it….
The unconditional love and pure joy that my children and grandchildren bring to me daily.
Modern technology has surpassed my expectations. I remember as a child watching tv shows and cartoons ( yes the Jetsons😊) and seeing their interpretation of the future. I remember my visit to Epcot centre at Walt Disney world and marvelled at what the future would hold for us and thought it to be an impossible dream. I look around and see what we have and how far we have gone only in a few years. There has been many positivities but at the same time modern tech has created dilemmas.
I grew up with the Jetsons too and when I’m stuck in traffic I envision one of the mini pods to just take off and take me to wherever, lol.
Life in general has been nothing but an undeserved blessing for me. Azan non-college educated person, I was fortunate to work for a large corporation for 12 years ending up in the mergers and Acquisitions group where I My Success went beyond my wildest expectations. my greatest accomplishment having had a very unstable childhood is the 43 years and I have spent with my loving wife, and the two healthy children that God has given me. Today will be yet another day I let you take the time to stop look go hopefully many times to pinch myself and remind myself how truly blessed fortunate I am to have been successful, had someone to love me for my entire life and have children that I hope soon will give me grandchildren 2 love as I grow old.
Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, I naively thought that my country, and my countrymen, would have learned our lessons from engagement in endless wars that we had no business being in. But alas, here we are, post-Vietnam, and now two decades and counting and still at war in Afghanistan. I would have ‘expected,’ that by now my fellow countrymen would have said enough, that it is time to care for our citizens who are hurting, to fix our decaying bridges and build up our flailing schools for our children and finally redirect our trillions away from war-building to people-building. But sadly, my hope and my expectation, have been surpassed by something other that makes no sense.
(Post note: I am sure that today’s question was meant to draw out something positive. But as I read it over and over to myself, for me, as a Quaker and passivist, this for some reason needed saying first. I apologize if it reads like a “Debbie-downer.”)
I could not agree more, Kevin. It is shameful how we pour money into the military while people go hungry and unhoused.
Kevin, I like honest posts here, not false positivity. Thanks –
It is not a Debbie-downer, it speaks truth.
I know. All I can say is, I know.
To see so much beauty, in many places I was allowed to visit, nature in all its breathtaking appearance, from the tiny most beautiful flowers to gorgeous landscapes or even most fascinating underwater worlds, to get to know so many wonderful people who do care for others with a joyful and peaceful heart and mind, where I may feel welcome and connected to, which has been a path until I was able to trust into again. For this all I am deeply grateful to life. To feel connected to His love in this all is a great gift. Greetings from my heart to all of you on this beautiful morning.
It’s a gift to be able to enjoy the beauty in even tiny bits of nature, Ose. Warm wishes and hugs to you –