Reflections

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  1. Love Abundantly

    It breaks my heart that no matter how much I learn about love in truth and extend it, everyone won’t be okay with receiving it or even know how.. I’ve learned that receiving love is just as much of a practice as extending love. I’d like to believe love is something we all run to and try to become. Although this is true for some people I am still motivated to operate from a place of love regardless of the circumstances.

    2 years ago
  2. Mary

    After answering this question of responding to heartbreak earlier this evening, I heard this question addressed in a lecture given by Nipun Mehta. He spoke at the the first e-class based on Kristi Nelson’s book Wake Up Grateful on this website.
    Nipun Mehta said when experiencing heartbreak the first thing he does is quiet the mind. After quieting his mind, perhaps through meditation, he moves to action and performs a small act of kindness. He says that by doing this he is moving from the perspective of the I, my heartbreak, to the perspective of the we. Coming from the perspective of the we allows us to hold our heartbreak in a much larger container, than that of the I. And because of this larger, more supportive container, our heartbreak is less overwhelming. We feel stronger and more resilient.
    Another point made was that the whole of life is so much larger than any one person’s experience of life and also life experienced at any single period of time.
    I have not fully digested what I heard and what I have attempted to explain here. But listening to Nipun Mehta gave me hope, and I could really use some hope at this time. I will listen to this lecture again to see how I can apply this practice to my life. This practice seems so simple but I think what the steps really do is change a hopeless mindset to a hopeful one. If I could do that it would be huge!!
    I do apologize in advance however, for giving an incomplete explanation of the words of Nipun Mehta. I hope it is not inaccurate. But in my excitement over hearing a way to deal with heartbreak that gives me hope, I felt I just had to share.
    I wish love, peace, hope, and kindness to all. ♥️
    Mary

    2 years ago
  3. Cathie

    Recently someone preached negative words about a type of prayer I pray. I was in the congregation and I immediately felt a physical pain in my heart. This feeling was new to me and I didn’t want it to linger.
    This feeling/vulnerability moved me to:
    1. quietly talk to the person about their opinion asking why they felt that way
    2. pray for that person ongoing
    The pain left me once these actions were taken

    2 years ago
  4. Angel Dix

    my mom yelled at me for having an attitude I only had an attitude for not being able to talk to my support system which s my best friends and when she accuses me of doing something I never did it was very upsetting I feel hurt and angry

    2 years ago
    1. sparrow

      You will get through this,
      dear Angel Dix
      with love…
      sparrow ♥️

      2 years ago
    2. Mary

      ♥️

      2 years ago
  5. Antoinette

    I think this question is awkward, because it makes you feel somehow less than if your not motivated by having a broken heart?
    I really don’t get it . I think we all get our hearts broken in many different ways throughout life and that is unavoidably so.
    I don’t believe that anyone should be judged on whether or not their motivations are good enough by their hearts being broken .
    We can, however, grow from our grief and it can move us in many different directions in our lives.
    When I reflect back on some very painful experiences, I can see that I have grown into a more loving open minded person due to deep suffering.
    I’m grateful for being heartbroken, because as Leonard Cohen put it : There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets through. “

    2 years ago
    1. Malag

      Yes, Antoinette, the Cohen lyric is what sprung to my mind also.

      2 years ago
  6. sparrow

    What breaks my heart
    is man’s inhumanity to man,
    to our creatures
    and to our planet . . .
    we’ve talked about a broken heart being an open heart,
    and I think my heart feels the same
    when I see a beautiful sunset,
    look into the heart of a flower,
    sink into the depths of another creature’s eyes.
    It feels like my heart is being broken open.
    I find Grace in both kinds of broken hearts.

    2 years ago
    1. dragonfly

      I’m loving this. So beautifully said.

      2 years ago
  7. Don Jones

    This is such a complex question. All of my practices point to living a life responding to the happening with Grace, Openness and perhaps Poise. But the reality may be much different. If I am honest, it could be by going on a bender of self pity. I really don’t know. I try to be present to the moment-by-moment unfolding. It is not something that I would want to rehearse.

    2 years ago
  8. Mary

    What first comes to mind is what is going on in the Ukraine.
    An Instagram friend of mine from Odessa, Ukraine, who is a smart and talented young photographer posted a picture of himself yesterday. Looking quite somber and thin, the picture of himself is centered among pictures of his two cats and pre-war pictures he had taken of his city Odessa. On his post he wrote “ Today is my birthday! Can’t believe I’m 21 already.”
    I can send money to Ukraine, and respond with kindness to my friend. Still, that doesn’t feel like much. I can’t fix this. So the question may be – How does a person live a good life in a world where there are atrocities? I would love to answer this question helpfully and beautifully. But as of now, I don’t have an answer.

    On a very personal note my youngest sister died very unexpectedly about two months ago. She and I were in need of reconciliation.
    My heart continues to break as I think of her.
    This motivates me to treasure my time with loved ones and friends, and also to drop the idea that there will always be another day to repair damaged relationships.

    2 years ago
    1. Michele

      Your reflection resonates… I’m sorry for the unexpected loss of your sister, my sympathies to you.

      2 years ago
      1. Mary

        Thank you Michelle!♥️
        I wrote more about this later in the evening after listening to an inspiring lecture.

        2 years ago
  9. Hermann-Josef

    When there is too much tension in the heart.Once there is cruelty against defenceless beings , helpless animals, children and so on and I see that I can not do anything against it my heart suffers a lot. It motivates me to think deeply about life, to train myself never to hurt anybody because of selfishness or own psychic problems, and how to deal with the pain in my heart.

    2 years ago
  10. pkr

    My heart broke when my dear brother died, almost a year ago. It broke even more when my dear mother passed away 10 months later. Two very important, significant friends, family left my world and left me with a broken heart. I am determined, motivated if you will, to keep moving forward. I choose life. Life is for the living. I am determined to look for Joy everyday.🌸❤️🙏

    2 years ago
    1. Mary

      Dear pkr, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Brother and Mom. I admire your attitude and am wishing the very best for you. ♥️

      2 years ago
    2. Antoinette

      Hi Pkr ,
      Wow , thank you for sharing. I’m sorry for your your loss. I really appreciate the very clear and well put example of choice of life! “Life is for the living and I’m going to choose life ! “ I love that ! I have to remember this ! This is 100% spot on mindfulness 101! How wonderful. Brings teas of joy to my eyes 👀 and I’m not kidding . Thank you 🙏 😘🌻

      2 years ago
      1. pkr

        Awww Antoinette, thank you from my heart, for your very thoughtful response. Your words & kindness touched me deeply. Thank you. Have a joy filled day. ❤️

        2 years ago
  11. Charlie T

    It’s interesting when the question Syncs with my current thoughts. And again, so much wisdom here in your responses. Living with an open heart means that I am exposed to all of it. Pain, suffering, beauty, kindness, all if it. Like so much of this, exposing your heart can require bravery and a certain confidence. Confidence that you can cope with all of it. It’s not easy. Carol, your observations give me so much to think about. Thank you 🙏

    2 years ago
  12. Chester

    Not sure I know how to answer this one. Indeed I believe in growth being inevitable following destruction and breakage. That growth though I believe strongly linked to the unique energy that is conjured by deep loss and reevaluation. I am not sure one can harness the unique growth potential of deep loss without actually enduring it. Fortunately though deep loss is not the only path to growth and meaningful motivation.

    2 years ago
  13. Barb C

    So many things. And sometimes that sensation of heartbreak is a response to beauty, not pain–the glory of a sunset or a spring tree full of light green leaves and singing birds can give me a deep heart pang too. That pain is from the recognition that I only have so many more of those moments to come. “Motivation” feels like a very business-y label for whatever recommitment I make in that moment.
    Painful things happening to my children also break my heart. They’re grown women and I raised them to be independent, strong women I’m very proud of. I’d still like to shelter them from pain and that isn’t possible. In those moments I want to pay attention to their needs, not what I think they need, and simply be there and aware.

    2 years ago
  14. c
    carol

    this question– all I can think or hear are songs by Leonard Cohen- Hallelujah and Anthem

    2 years ago
  15. Carol

    I often have to ask myself. Is it my heart that is breaking or is it my ego? More than I would like to admit, it’s my ego. The difference being when it’s my heart, it’s not a breaking, it’s an opening. It’s an opportunity to grow in awareness. It’s evolutionary instead of revolutionary. This reminds me of a meme I saw recently. “If an egg is broken from an outside force, Life ends.If broken by an inside force, Life begins. Great things always begin from Inside.” As Elizabeth Lesser says in the word for today, “When you feel yourself breaking down, may you break open instead. May every experience in life be a door that opens your heart, expands your understanding, and leads you to freedom.”

    2 years ago
    1. Laura

      Thank you for your insightful observations, Carol. So helpful.

      2 years ago
    2. dragonfly

      Carol, that is such an inspiring observation. More often then not, it occurs to me now, pain does not come from a broken heart but a bruised ego. Thank you so much for that insight. Definitely something to think about and keep in mind.

      2 years ago
      1. Carol

        Dragonfly, The term “bruised ego” fits perfectly. I shall remember that!

        2 years ago
  16. dragonfly

    I once had a “vision”. In it I saw forests being burned down, lakes being drained, oceans covered in oil and all kinds of destruction of the surface of the Earth. It was heart wrenching and I cried and asked, “What can I do? What can I do?” The answer, strangely enough, was, “It’s okay. Everything is okay.” I did not understand. How could this be okay. Then the next “wave” came and I saw animals suffer terribly. And again I received the same answer to the same question. Somehow at this point something started to get clearer, though. And after the third part, in which I saw the suffering of humans all over the world, I felt that I had a better understanding of the answer I had consistently received. For me it was to sit with the pain, to fully experience it and not fight it because suffering is one part of life. And that is okay. I don’t need to jump into action out of desperation and pain. After fully letting it wash over me and infuse me it will, strangely enough, fill me with calmness and peace that then can radiate out into my immediate surroundings and ripple into the world easing some suffering. Everything is okay. It is as it is supposed to be, even if I do not understand why. It motivates me to cultivate this calmness inside me so that my actions may be prudent and deliberate.

    2 years ago
    1. sparrow

      yes, yes,
      and yes! ♥

      2 years ago
    2. Carol

      Desist and Know!

      2 years ago
  17. Laura

    The staggering indifference human beings can demonstrate to one another, collectively and individually.
    I try to respond as best I can with whatever I can offer.
    “Life is so hard. How can we be anything but kind?”
    — Sylvia Boorstein

    2 years ago
    1. Mary

      This staggering indifference is what I find most heartbreaking as well.

      2 years ago
    2. Barb C

      Thank you for the Sylvia Boorstein quote. I have one of her books somewhere and may need to go reread that. Indifference breaks my heart too.

      2 years ago
      1. Laura

        You’re welcome, Barb. ☺️

        2 years ago
  18. EJP

    It breaks my heart to see children come into this world without warm, loving parents and a supportive, stable home life. This motivates me to be truly grateful for all that I am and for all that I have, sharing and giving to these children in anyway that I can.

    2 years ago
  19. devy

    The suffering or pain that I may have inadvertently caused to someone. Once I am aware I feel sad, responsible for my actions. But I don’t blame myself. I tell the person that I am sorry but more than that I open up emotionally to empathize with them and explain how I feel. The next step is to use this as a lesson for self analysis and corrections so that I will not do the same by being more aware of my words or actions towards others.

    2 years ago
  20. Mary Pat

    I don’t think the society I live in deals with grief very well, and that can add to a broken heart and make it so much worse.
    I like what Kevin said, and concur.
    I will add when I see another in the pain of grief, it motivates me to understand where they are, and offer any help they may need.

    2 years ago
  21. Michele

    Suffering breaks my heart which motivates me to pray/light candles.

    2 years ago
  22. Kevin

    Our hearts get broken because we have been hurt, injured, disrespected, or have suffered a life-jolting loss of some kind. I suggest that it is unhelpful and unrealistic to sugarcoat all that a broken heart is by suggesting that “motivation” will somehow inoculate us from the pain that a broken heart brings. In my experience, it does not. When our hearts are broken we grieve what we have lost for whatever time is required, and through grief we find our way back to a functioning, yet changed, full-hearted existence.

    2 years ago
    1. Barb C

      Thank you for saying this so directly. The “motivation” might be to protect ourselves from vulnerability and harden our hearts rather than to live in and through each moment.

      2 years ago
    2. Mary Pat

      I completely agree. Thanks for saying it so well…..

      2 years ago
    3. Michele

      Thank you Kevin for your thoughtful reflection and the wisdom behind it.

      2 years ago
  23. Christine

    I find it hard to stop and think about that. Then my thoughts take me to places I don’t want to be. I don’t want to bury my head in the sand either. Difficult question.

    2 years ago
    1. Mary

      ♥️

      2 years ago

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