What has helped me in times of grief?

I had a supervisor at work who had experienced so many major events in her life that I think people would consider traumatic or just unbearable. (I won’t say more publicly, but I believe that a video of her discussing some of it is available online, if anyone wants to ask for more information.)

In working with her, I certainly saw traits and behaviors that I felt may have come from these experiences, not always the easiest for me to work with. That said, I am in awe of her capacity to continue. I use the word “continue” very specifically. My supervisor once talked about the idea of resilience and said something to the effect of (I am paraphrasing from memory here): I don’t know if I am resilient. I don’t feel that way. I must be if I am still here. But that’s only because I kept going. Sometimes that meant screaming and crying at the top of my lungs as I drove to work. But I kept going.

In trying to reflect on this question, I don’t know if I have a single great answer like cuddling my old teddy bear. I have rested, discussed with confidants, turned to stories, and maintained my self-care. Often, though, I do this while holding the inner turmoil of grief. In the moment, I might not feel drastically different. But I do continue.